Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Redneck And His Balls

I came upon the horror of this sight yesterday and it shook me to the core. Somewhere out there, a redneck... who may not even know it yet, has lost his identity, his reason to live, his truck's giant plastic genitalia. Scoff if you will people, but this is no laughing matter. For what is a big stupid redneck without a giant nasty looking ball sack hanging from under his bumper for all to behold.

We've all been there, stuck in traffic behind that F350 quad cab that's 4 feet off the ground forced to ponder the giant plastic ball sack displayed conveniently at eye level. What is it about the man in the driver's seat that compels him to show his love for balls to the world? That's how he defines himself? With nuts? Maybe he wants to leave that lasting impression on people as he drives away.

Now there goes a real man... who loves balls.


I wonder how they would look on the LHT?
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10 comments:

  1. keithmoOctober 6, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    Maybe he cut off Lorena Bobbitt in traffic...

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  2. restaurant refugeeOctober 6, 2009 at 9:28 PM

    I know that we live in an increasingly vulgar society, but "Truck Nuts" are particularly offensive to me.

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  3. Todd S.October 6, 2009 at 11:46 PM

    They've actually outlawed them here in Florida. I believe they used some kind of public indecency reasoning. It was a big deal, too, given the number of gigantic trucks here.

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  4. BrandoOctober 7, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    I'm just wondering why we live in a society that hasnt' developed "truck tits".

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  5. ksteinhoffOctober 7, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    I hate to admit that I bought a set for my brother-in-law as a gag.

    I'm not sure he still displays them, but for awhile he painted them to match the season: red in summertime and blue in the winter.

    Before I mailed them off, I mounted them to the rear of my bike rack.

    I have a picture of my wife taking a pair of bolt cutters to them. The symbolism is a bit scary.

    (If ever there was a time when I considered posting as Anonymous, this is it.)

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  6. Chez HouseOctober 7, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    I think it's totemistic.
    Some sort of trucker shamanistic ritual to bring forth Yosemite Sam to keep the government taxes off my truck, or perhaps to spawn the strange silhouetted girl of mudflap fame by rubbing the totem whenever they pass a Camaro driven by a female with who they've deemed worthy to dream about mating.

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  7. Cycle JerkOctober 7, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Ha! The comments are better than the post.

    ksteinhoff: You are among friends, it's ok. he he

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  8. AnonymousOctober 7, 2009 at 5:14 PM

    I once tore a pair of them off of a gigantic pick-up truck that parked in 4 parking spots at once - it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

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  9. StevilOctober 7, 2009 at 6:59 PM

    NOOOOOO!

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  10. AnonymousOctober 7, 2009 at 9:46 PM

    You should hang them from the seat of the LHT.

    ReplyDelete