Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Budweiser On Tap: A Beer Story

I threw this little gem together to honor the King of Beers and it's current legal troubles.

Apart from the gin and tonic I thought was sprite when I was 5, Budweiser was my first experience with alcohol. My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors and almost every adult I came into contact with drank it. From saying "My B!" while taking sips from my Dad's can to earning a quarter every time I ran to the fridge to get my gramps a "cool one", Budweiser was an ever present in my early childhood. It was cool, all the men I looked up to drank it, it was my birthright...  it tasted like piss.

Fast forward a decade.

At any given party, those with fake ID's would make the rounds collecting money for numerous cases of Bud. I would make the same request every time... "here's $10, keep the change and get me a six pack of Killian's Red or Rolling Rock, I beg of you". It was the early 90's. Of course they would pocket the change and return with a smile, "With that $10 I got your your own case of bud!"  ...fuck...  It was cheap, it meant your could drink all night, it's what everyone's parents drank... it was watery and it tasted like piss.

The next few decades were littered with as few Budweiser run ins as possible. When it couldn't be avoided there would always be some accompanying joke about the mystery behind why it was SO refreshing on a hot day or who kept pissing in my beer etc. The humor never helped and I sounded like an asshole.

I understand why everyone drank it when I was a boy. Most of the 4 other beers available tasted like piss too. In high school it was cheap, nobody had money, and it's what everyone's parents drank.

Today we're lucky to live in a brewing renaissance, there are literally blazillions of beers available to us. Beers that have been lovingly crafted by industrious beer loving people with tattoos, and beards full of moxy and gumption. People with resources and ingredients available that make brewing more art than chemistry.  

I know, I'm a fuckin' snob.

I've got nothing against Budweiser lovers. I don't like olives but I love and respect people who do.

Bottom line is this, some shit bird decided to water down the watery beer you love and that ain't right. Maybe it's time you told that shit bird what's what and switched beers. There are plenty of other watery beers out there that are pure of heart.


jet said...

Hardly worth suing over.

Stevil said...

I'd switch brands, but Pabst owns all the other American Pilsner companies, and now their owned by assholes too.