Facebook Thinks I'm Gay

Almost every day Facebook tells me I'm gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and I need more gay activities in my life. It all started about a year ago, when I noticed that the advertising tiles on the right side of Facebook's secondary pages were getting increasingly colorful... rainbow colored in fact. Over the months I wondered about the origin of these ads and what I might have typed or clicked to become a blip on Facebook's gaydar.

Over the last week or so I collected evidence of FB's campaign of fabulousness in my honor. I call this matrix of gay advertising...

"The Gaytrix"

This was just a few days worth of screenshots.

Somewhere in an advertising database deep in the bowels of FB headquarters it says "Oh Hell Yeah" in the "GAY?" field next to my name. I don't care about the ads one way or the other. I usually ignore them, but I couldn't stop thinking about how it all worked.

How does the Gaytrix choose its next victim? What are the determining factors? How gay do you have to be before FB recognizes you as such? I'm gonna say not very gay at all. Maybe it's not an algorithm that makes these decisions, maybe it's a legion of pencil pushers plodding though piles of images, status updates, and comments. Maybe one of those pile plodding pencil pushers took a liking to me, hoping that and onslaught of gay advertising would be the tipping point making me come out and join the mustache parade. 

Probably not. I probably said something so terribly gay that it left the FB computers with no other alternative than that I was very very gay and in desperate need of a cruise, a big bear gay cruise to cOPENhagen to be exact.